and then at the end, we were going to college together, at the end of that year, she moved to birmingham, alabama, to work in an inner city african-american church. i moved to nagasaki, japan, to teach english. our entire courtship, we were apart. it was by letters. when we actually got married, we knew we were in love with each other, but it was like, who are you? and my wife and i are as exact opposite in every detail of our dna except our commitment to each other and the lord. and the thing that made us last is we closed this escape hatch, locked the key and threw it away and said divorce is not an option for us. we're going to make this work if it kills us. at times, it nearly did. at one point, i ended up in the hospital over depression over our marriage problems. cay thought she was having a nervous breakdown. we went to a counselor, a christian counselor. at that time, i was working at a college and making $800 a month, and my counseling bill was $100 a week. we wracked up a $1,500 bill, and i look back and say, was it worth it? are you kidding me? i would pay a million dollars fo